Fire up the “L. Ron Hubbard wedding minister” hologram, tell Suri Cruise to pull out her barley girl dress, and decorate the space car with cans, because there’s going to be a great big Scientology wedding (but probably not). Bruised Peaches Geldof… Read more
Tags: book, book fire, car, chonies, eli roth, fame whore, Fire, Girl, hologram, L. Ron Hubbard, peaches geldof, s system, Scientology, skidmark, space, space car, TOGETHER, wedding minister, whore, Yay
Jennifer Lopez’s chances of being a judge on American Idol have been axed after she presumably expected FOX to cover her Church of Scientology dues. (I’m on to you.) People reports: The singer-actress had been closing… Read more
Tags: actress, American, american idol, church, church of scientology, deal, FOX, Idol, Jennifer Lopez, judge, nbsp, Scientology, season, show
We all know that Lois Aldrin bloomed out of a moon crater during a lunar eclipse and was brought to this planet by Buzz Aldrin, but did you know that she’s got Xenu’s private Skype user name in her Rolodex? Apparently she does (she probably cranks… Read more
Tags: aka, anniversary, buzz aldrin, celebrity, celebrity centre, celestial, church of scientology, feather, Jenna Elfman, Lois Aldrin, lunar eclipse, middle, Moon, moon children, moon crater, Nancy Cartwright, ride, rush limbaugh, Scientology, space
You can tell me that I’ve been drinking massive amounts of Kool-Aid spiked with barley water, but I have to admit that…um…errrr…um…well.. Katie Holmes does kind of sort of look like Jackie O. Trust me, I’m screaming “Jackie Xenooooo” in my… Read more
Tags: barley water, E-Meter, Flintstones, greg kinnear, Isabella, isabella cruise, KENNEDYS, kool aid, massive amounts, mess, pillow, rosie o donnell, Scientology, set, sort, squint your eyes, Stepford, way
Anderson Cooper must have turned down Tommy Girl’s invitation to personally audit mah boo’s asshole with his tongue, because Scientology is now madder than Suri Cruise when you tell her ass “NO!”. As some of you may know, Mah Boo has put his giggle… Read more
Tags: Anderson Cooper, apostates, asshole, CNN, cnn host, free copies, gayness, giggle, kill, kind, L. Ron Hubbard, mess, online, prima donna, Scientology, scientology leader, show, thetans, twist
Believe it or not, this is not a picture of Tommy Girl trolling The Ramble for a piece to feed to his Scientolohole. This is Tommy on the set of a commercial for ESPN showing us that when he waxes the dead Thetans off his body his chest follicles… Read more
Tags: body, Cameron Diaz, chest, ESPN, golden locks, palate cleanser, paper, ramble, sauna, Scientology, Scientolohole, set, Simon Baker, thetans, Tommy Girl, wake, Xenu
The MTV Movie Awards (yes, they still shit out that shit) took us back to the 2008 tonight when Tommy Girl sashayed out as Len Grossman and proceeded to bust out some kind of Scientology dance ritual of seduction that makes Xenu rip his E.T…. Read more
Tags: bust, butt plug, Charo, coochie, coochie coochie, dance ritual, Door, dungeon, grossman, JLo, kind, life, movie, mtv movie awards, Scientology, Seriously, time, Tommy Girl, wig
John Travolta must have shimmied his hips and jiggled his man chichis extra hard during the Scientology fertility ritual, because Star Magazine is saying that Kelly Preston has two adorable Xenulings growing in her womb. Kelly and John already… Read more
Tags: better scream, birth, butt, butt plugs, excitement, fertility ritual, freak out, John Travolta, joy, magazine, sailor outfits, Scientology, silent birth, sperm, stage, star magazine, tap dance, vitro, vitro fertilization, womb
Star Magazine is swearing that 47-year-old Kelly Preston is 3 months pregnant and the father is her husband John Travolta. Don’t look at me. I don’t know how it happened either, but I’m sure it involved Tommy Girl doing the Scientology fertility… Read more
Tags: baby, barley water, Don, Ella, family, father, fertility dance, husband, John, john kelly, John Travolta, Kelly, kelly preston, L. Ron Hubbard, magazine, Moon, Nanu, Preston, Scientology, spaceships, star, star magazine, suri cruise, swearing, Tommy Girl, travoltas
Insanely insane Kirstie Alley tells Ladies’ Homes Journal how Scientology helped(?) her: “Scientology helps you lose your insanities. One of the keys is to say, ‘You’re in charge of your life, buster. You’re responsible for any condition you’re in.’… Read more
Tags: Alley, Buster, charge, condition, Insanely, Journal, Kirstie, kirstie alley, Ladies, life, Scientology
