Another relationship that was born in ABC's bowels and pushed out of their asshole has been flushed down the toilet for good. Since the love affair I'm about to start with this Pop Tart sitting next to me will last longer than most Bachelor relationships, this is the direct opposite of surprising. But since pretending is fun, add another drop of butter to your cream cheese bagel (I know how you do) and just tell yourself you're drowning your sorrows in melted fat. I mean, you might as well get something out of this shit.

People confirms that Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi of the most recent season of The Bachelor have quit each other. A spokeswhore didn't give a reason for the break up, but they said this: “Jake and Vienna have split. They appreciate the respect for their privacy at this time.”

When Jake got on one knee and proposed to Vienna Sausage during the season finale of The Bachelor, I punched myself in the face for actually watching that fake shit. And then I figured it would only be a matter of seconds before Vienna Sausage was pawning that ring off in a shop off the highway in Florida somewhere so that she could use the cash to pay for her third nose rotation. While I do think it's a good idea that she sell that shit right away, bitch needs to use that money to fix her jacked-up wonk eyes instead of getting more plastic surgery.

Seriously, the Haylie Duff of Florida looks like an alley mutt with two little hot dogs dangling before her. One eye is trying to focus on the hot dog on the right, and the other is trying to eat up the one on the left. No wonder these two lasted as long as they did. Vienna couldn't clearly see him checking out other pieces of ass.

Source: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid