A check is a check: Lance Bass, SuBo, Tiffany, Wynonna Judd, The Village People and other glittery stars of the A-list universe sing about opening their mouths for a white creamy load. This is the closest any of us will get to seeing SuBo in a sex tape so take it and fap to it while you can get it - Towleroad

But for why did Entertainment Tonight make Prince Michael Jackson look like a 30-something motivational speaker? - Lainey Gossip 

The German rose Micaela Schaefer is still putting her shredder to good use - Hollywood Tuna 

Either Lisa Marie Presley left the Church of Tommy Girl or she used to be in the KGB (yes, I've been watching The Americans) - Celebitchy

"Hey, you filing papers over there, you want to take my daughter for a date for $500? But whatever you do, don't feed her a Frapp after midnight." - Daddy Spears to David  - The Superficial 

Miley Cyrus did something really shocking on Instagram. Happy Sarcasm Day! - Drunken Stepfather

FYI: British dudes do not want to hump on Kristen Stewart (and I'm sure RPattz voted for her too) - The Berry 

Even though Colin Farrell looks like bruised, beaten and busted Skillrex, I still would - ICYDK

The new Real Housewife of Orange County looks like a low-budget Denise Richards wax figure with Tish Cyrus' dentures shoved into its mouth - Reality Tea

It's nice to see that one of Janet Jackson's tour costumes from the 90s made its way onto Selena Gomez's body - Popoholic

"Creatives differences" is a publicist's way of saying that even Alec Baldwin couldn't take Shia LaDouche's drunk asshole ways - Just Jared

Thanks, Post Office, but I'll keep my money in my wallet until UPS starts selling their brown coochie cutters - Jezebel

Squinty Zellweger is starring in staged photo-ops on the beach now - Popsugar

The alley way of doom between Bethenny Frankel's chichis tells me that she has the same plastic surgeon as Tori Spelling - Celebslam

The word "nigga" will continue to make an appearance on Lisa Lampanelli's tongue - Crunk + Disorderly

The people of Harlem on the Harlem Shake - Videogum

Pimp Mama Kris just pulled Kim's leash tighter, because her prized pig ain't going anywhere - I'm Not Obsessed

RiRi is spending her 25th birthday the same way she spends every day - Cityrag

Michelle Williams is growing her hair out, which is why she looks like an Emo guinea pig right now - SOW

White Oprah, is that you? - The Frisky 

Source: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid